This was rough

So for those who wanted a more in depth of what happened with me the past few days as opposed to the short version on Facebook- here it goes uncensored lol

As most family and close friends know- R and i have been trying to have a baby for some time now.
R and I found out that we were pregnant but had not even been able to go to the doctor to confirm yet. Tuesday all night and Wednesday morning I because extremely uncomfortable and crampy- i figured it was just nerves with being pregnant as well as expanding uterus. I finally got to the point around 8 am where i was just plain sick- i went to the rest room to try to relieve myself and ended up having a big gush of blood. I called my friend to come over as my husband was at work and took the dog out... as i was out there i had another gush of blood. My friend was there by then and recommended we go to the hospital.. so off we went.
By the time we got there i had already filled almost a whole entire pad. After having a lot of blood taken and a painful vaginal exam ( in which i held Becs hand TIGHT) They came to the conclusion that i WAS still pregnant and it was looking more like i had a cyst burst. They then decided to send me off to get a vaginal ultrasound. I wish they would have let me know it would be a vaginal one though! lol I got in the room to a lady ready to stick a stick about as long as my fore arm inside me. Thankfully that was not painful at all, just pressured.

They came to tell me the results in which they believed i had a ectopic pregnancy. they saw a mass where they believed my fallopian tube to be but could not see any sign of the baby in my womb. They sent us home until Friday morning. When we went back they had checked my HCG levels again which should have been above 1500 ( were 1200 on wednesday) so that they could do another ultrasound to hopefully see the baby. Turns out when the doctor came back in that my levels had gone down the whole way to 200. Ultimately it meant that I had a miscarriage between Wednesday and Friday. It was the best of all of the worst out comes that could have happened, and we are thankful that it was naturally instead of me getting the shot for abortion. There is no survival rate for Ectopic pregnancies and i would have had to had something done anyways.. but this rested a little easier on my heart.

I've had some issues with it all... i've talked to so many people the past few days i did everything i could to try and be positive but it did eventually catch up with me. Last night was the hardest night ive had for a while. I know it happened for a reason and i am at peace for Gods reasoning even though i don't understand it right now, but it still hurts. I went out today a few times and it seems that all i can see is everything related to pregnancy. I think it is also hard that all of my friends except for one have babies that have been born within the last year.
God has given me a lot of peach about it all but i'm just trying to move on with that, now its onto patience... AGAIN as we have to wait for a while before start trying again. I just pray that God will continue to bless us with a short wait period ( which i know prob. wont happen lol, but i can hope!) and that our next pregnancy if we have one won't be full of complications such as this past one.