Through having a miscarriage- I have met some of the most wonderful, strong, and amazing woman. The woman who have to carry the grief of losing a child, may it be early in pregnancy, or after they have labored. Either way- these are some of the strongest woman I think I will ever know. The sad thing is that others do not feel the same way that I do, they think that having a miscarriage is a sign of a un-godly woman, a genetically deformed baby that you would never of been able to take care of anyways, or women who never deserved or don't deserve a baby to begin with so it was deserved that they lost it. Not only do these thoughts ( and things people have said to me or friends who have gone through the similar things) completely outrage me, but they make me feel bad for the people who say them. To me, for someone to say these things means that they truly do not have a concept of the life that was given to us or of love. These are the people that also feel that it is okay to leave us- Angel Mothers- out of moms groups/conversations. Can I tell you something honestly? I have been viewed as immature, and not worthy of regular friendship because I do not have a baby in my arms. Does it matter that we tried for that, and that we were honored that Jesus wanted to hold our baby before we did? No, it does not. Do moms of alive children not understand that we are in every right just as much of a mother? Do we not earn the respect to be given support through our mother friends? Apparently not. One of the things that is most upsetting about that is that we are not " allowed" to go to mom's groups, or play groups for support but when around moms in a friendly setting that might as well be called a play group- we are expected to sit there and listen to all of the mom talk. I don't mind this at all times but the part that gets me is that if we- angel mommies- speak up about a topic about diapers, or formula/breastfeeding we are disregarded in anything we say.
Let me tell you something, just because a baby is not in my arms does not mean that i didn't go through as much studying and talking to people and doctors about such topics. No we sadly do not have experience most of the time, but we may know just as much and it is not fair to put our thoughts to the bottom of the mud puddle.
So I hope that you- as a mom if you are reading this- give more respect to those of us who were blessed beyond words to carry babies that Jesus wanted to hold first. Some of those angel mommies already had cribs, clothes, bottles, and diapers bought and wanted nothing more than to bring a baby home to spoil with such things. So please- from us to you- give us the love, care, respect that you would give any other of your mommy friends.
6 comments:
AMEN; That is all : )
Who is it that tells you these things? In my mind, that is a sick and disturbing thought. It is not your fault for what happened. It. Just. Happened. There is no understanding to it. As you have already excepted, Only God Knows!
I would think that your opinion does matter, solely based on the fact that you have been trying for a year. What does one do when they are bored and have baby on the brain? Research! It's safe to say your probably know your fair share of details on diapers, and products.
Don't let it discourage you. I would even suggest changing up your circle of friends. It sounds like you are developing better friendships as it is. More of a supportive group. Don't try and force yourself to fit into a group where you feel like this, bc it is only going to make you depressed. I know how hard it is to make new friends, but you are a sweet girl and I know you could.
You are going to be a Mommy someday. I wish I could use a crystal ball to tell you when, but that would ruin the surprise of it!
Speaking of which, did your doctor tell you when you could start trying again? I know my one friend who had two, had to wait I think 2-3 months before she could try again for her body to recover properly.
*Rhonda*
So you have inspired me to blog again. But how can I make mine pretty?
PS I found this one someone else's blog, and wanted to share
I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer and gave her to me. Now, I give her back to the Lord. She will belong to the Lord all her life.
~Samuel 1:27-28~
The girl who said those things I cut out of my life. I never even met her in person- but we webchatted, and talked on the phone all the time. Her views and attitude towards everything changed and she became very mean. My doctor said that after 2 normal cycles she didn't see a problem, but also because of all of my post check-ups she said she didn't see a problem with trying once my HCG was gone.
I use thecutestblogontheblock for my layouts- and I just make my own picture up top on Picnik.com lol. And that's it!
I saw your little icon in the corner and followed it. but I couldn't get picnik to work for me! I couldn't add my own pics to make a collage like yours, or make it big enough. I guess in my old age I am loosing my computer savvy skills LOL
I am glad you cut that girl out. That is some very hurtful and untrue things she was telling you. YAY for the road to trying again!! My doctor told me to make it fun bc the trying was the best part. You guessed it, Doc was a male HAHAHAHHA
Yah to have more than one picture is a pain lol. I did each picture on it's own and had the edges faded. Then put them on a blank thing in paint- then went back to picnik and added everything else!
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