Here go my ramblings once again.
This week will make 10 weeks since, which would about make me 14-15ish weeks along. Some people think I'm just depressing myself by counting but I'm past that and it isn't so don't worry. So many things have been brought to my attention about miscarriages and people with babies lately. I have many pet peeves since that I never had before and I think I'm about to list some of them just to get it off my chest. Keep in mind these are just my thoughts and I know some of them may sound out of line, but it's just my point of view as to it all.
If I could tell any of my mommy friends, or pregnant and soon to have their babies friends, I would say be thankful for what you have. Not that any of my friends/acquaintances are not thankful of their children. But just... be thankful. So many people I know have babies under a year old and they are already talking about their seconds, thirds, even fourths when they just had one, are expecting one.
Did you ever want to say something to someone and you just mean it as to help prepare them, but you know that they won't take it that way? For those who have had babies without a hitch- tried for like a month or were not trying at all and got pregnant. I pray that it is easy for them to have their next children but I think people have this facade that they'll decide one month and find out they are pregnant the next. It may be hard, you may have to try for a long while. And I pray to God that this never happens, but you never know about miscarriages. I NEVER in a million years would have thought that here we would be, 14-15 months into trying for a baby and experiencing one heart wrenching miscarriage and still be empty. Why look so far ahead as to your third and fourth children when you just had one. Be thankful for the moment, for the child you do have. And if heaven forbid you can't have another, you have one child. A beautiful blessing that a lot more people than you think don't even get. And it's amazing the difference you see in moms when they have had struggles. And no I'm not saying that if you struggle that makes you a better mom, not at all what I am saying. Many moms I know that have had babies without having to try for a long while ect, are some of the most awesome moms. But for many this is the case that I have run into. The people who hate for their babies to be sick, but never complain about spending long nights up rocking the baby a certain way so that they are comfortable. The one girl I know says it perfectly, As she says,
"I literally spend every moment cherishing N, and I can tell I am a different type of Mom than the majority of my friends. Some people think I over obsess with her. I just look at things differently. They don't realize that I consider N a gift from God. An experience I was told I wouldn't have. So all the late nights she very often has, I look at more time to snuggle. And I appreciate every day, every moment."
I was talking to my friend about this exact thing last evening. We have both experienced a loss- her more than I, but we feel the same. We cannot wait to have that one baby in our arms, and people seem to be taking for granted their one baby just wanting the next to be a different sex, or easier labor ect. When you go through a loss and or struggle dealing with becoming pregnant and keeping that pregnancy none of it matters. I don't care if we have a boy or girl- I will be ecstatic just to have a mini version of us in our arms and safe, no matter how the labor is , or the pregnancy. People think we lie, or are stupid for saying things, but we can't wait for the sleepless nights. For the aches and pains of pregnancy. The pain and it all, It will all be so worth it in the end to us. I am just so tired of people on FB complaining about how pregnancy sucks and how they can't wait for it to be over. You are pregnant, or you had a child, and look at the reward you have that God has blessed you with. Why are you complaining or upset.
Words from a Francesca Battistelli song that fit perfectly right now. " In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed." It applies to all aspects. Grant it- my husband and I would love nothing more than to have a child of our own- we'd love a big great family, but if that is not in the cards from God. We will accept that. We are extremely blessed to have each other. As my mom said, when her and my dad were trying for my brother and I, they came to a point where they said, " If us two were all we were going to have, then we were blessed enough to have someone who wanted to have a child with each other whether we had one or not."
Okay my little rant is over.
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