( female post lol)
So three years ago I didn't know that HPT stood for home pregnancy test, or that CM stood for cervical mucus, or that you can feel implantation cramping/bleeding. As well as a book full of other things. Three years ago I didn't know anything about ovulating or why it happens. Sometimes I miss those days. When you are trying to get pregnant you take everything to heart. You go crazy with keeping track of things, you find yourself writing down every type of CM you have to the emotional state you were in that day. And on top of that you can't help but to think of them all the time! They tell you not to stress out if you want a baby- but you want to learn more about your body and how it all happens and you end up not being able to not have a bit of stress! I mean.. Day 12- crampy, feel like i want to cry, hungry for salty. Day 22- bloated, gassy, yelled at husband for no reason.
And then you think it will end when you get pregnant, but it doesn't. Somehow it gets worse. BFP ( positive test) and within the first 24 hours if your back twinges weird your heart drops thinking that it's a bad sign. And the thing is, those twinges could just be growing pains, or a bad sign. And when you think your pregnant but haven't gotten that BFP yet, when you sleep you don't want to lay on your stomach even though you are a belly sleeper for fear of " squishing the baby" haha, yes I myself, as well as friends have been known for thinking this! My husband says, " Calm down, your worrying about it all to much." But being a woman you cannot help but have these thoughts, especially a TTC gal! Although sometimes I have them subconsciously, but I don't fret over them all the time. The days and "signs" run through your mind, and I may mention them to Ry but never really stress over them.
It's just so crazy to think of how much you learn along the road. As happy I am to have learned, and keep learning more about my body and things that are going on it does make me wonder how much different it would be if I didn't know all of these things. Would I never think to take a pregnancy test until I'm over 7 or 8 weeks? Would my miscarriage of happened? I won't lie, it makes me wonder that if I was not so attuned to the things going on and every feeling if it still would have happened. Was the stress of wanting it so bad and wanting to keep it what made me lost it? I know that if it was going to happen it was going to happen, but as a woman- again- these thoughts happen to run wild. At least I can share my information with others and feel smart.. :-)
2 comments:
Never think that if you did something different you wouldn't have had the miscarriage. It was nothing you did. Just because you wanted it so bad doesn't mean that's why you lost it. I always wonder why women like you and many others that are adequately right for the job to be a mother have such a hard time conceiving but others that are too young or don't have the money to support a child..well they have like 5 kids! Why? There will always be a million questions and a million worries when it comes to this or just life in general. I say just sit back and enjoy the ride. Let things come to you and handle them because God wouldn't throw them your way if you couldn't. You are blessed with a wonderful husband and a great life. You will be a mother...the best!...when the right time comes. Be positive and have fun every day! No worries!
Thanks!! I appreciate the comment, and it made me smile :-) I know my time will come, God just likes to play tricks on me because he happens to know I am THE MOST impatient person in the world lol. I am definitely having to learn my lesson in that area!
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